April 14,1999

“Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place,
I can feel his mighty power and his grace,
I can feel the rush of angels’ wings,
I see glory on each face,
Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place.”

I was told today in chapel to be still and quiet; to know when to talk and when not to. When I awoke this morning and was mentally planning the day, the quiet place before Bible class sounded really good. God did you draw me here to refocus? Did you draw me here to be quiet and listen? Did you draw me here to tell me that you are God? In my humble opinion I would have to answer yes to all three.

Where am I going? I know the plans that I have made for the end of the school year and the summer, and that you have apparently blessed because they seem to be working out. But what do you want for my future? I have changed my major again and hopefully for the last time. I feel like you have lead me there, and you have blessed me with artistic abilities. So I’m a 3-D art major with an emphasis in ceramics… Great, Grand, Wonderful… What now? Do I wait and be still? Well, it looks like that is the only thing to do.

I have so many questions about my future God, but as I turn to my left and look on the wall Jesus is looking me in the eye. Lying on His back in quite submission while a spike is being driven through his tender wrist. His eyes speak a convicting love and compassion that says these are your hands, your sins that are driving this spike, taking my life so I can save yours. His eyes say I love you to the
point of death and I forgive you before you even do it. I’m worthless yet I’m so valuable because of Jesus.

The shadows from the window in front of me bounce on the desk like angels wings. The sun filtering through the trees, bouncing all around as the wind gently blows. Like God’s breath blowing life into the earth. Shadows suddenly disappear because light has come its way. Our light that Jesus gives us is the same. When a light enters where there is darkness the darkness can’t survive. The sunlight on the desk has already completely moved off into infinity, demonstrating God’s awesome power moving the earth. We are so small, a speck of dust, but at the same time so big. Life is so complicated but at the same time so easy, so simple. If only we be still and know He is God!

The thin tall tree was just slammed into the brick wall behind it. The tree is rooted in the ground so it doesn’t fall over. We are rooted in the Rock so when life slams us against a brick wall we should know that we won’t fall, we won’t be broken. God is my refuge and my strength, my hiding place. The sound of the water running down the rocks into the fountain. The hum of the air conditioner. The sound of my breathing. The silence of the trees being tossed by the wind. These are what I hear when I am still. Who am I to question God? At the same time I feel bold in my questions like I have a right to know. When it comes down to the truth that I know in my heart, I am but a simple servant of the Living God! I have no right but to do His will. My faith is not a democracy. God is the ruler, the king, and I but a lowly servant.